Category Archives: Expatriates

Maintaining Personal Libraries: “Is It Possible to Buy Too Many Books?”

Sorting through books


Most successful business people are regular readers.  When I stumbled across a question on Quora asking, “Is it possible to buy too many books?” I realized that quite a few people are dealing with this problem.

Speaking as a book lover with a massive personal library, I would say yes, it is possible to buy too many books under the following circumstances:

I.) If you are going into debt through your book purchases.

II.)  If your book purchases cause problems in your relationships, such as taking away needed money for other family expenses which are lacking.

III.) You are accumulating so many books that you are not able to take care of them (have space and facilities such as shelves to store them), such as dusting them at least once or twice a year (or hire help for such).  If you have too many for the number of shelves you have, and they are  just piled around, they can become a health hazard in several ways.  Mice can get in the house and eat them, and leave droppings around, and dust and dirt can accumulate.  Lack of storage space can become dangerous when they “take over” the home.  All these things are health hazards and fire hazards.  They can also cause rooms in your house to collapse if the weight is too much for the floor to support.

IV.)  People who love books and accumulate to the point of never giving a book away (we all go through this stage when first building our libraries) need to take care to consider whether you might have borderline (or full-blown) hoarding disorder…one of the first few episodes of hoarders actually dealt with people who accumulated books to the point that their entire living spaces were filled with books from floor-to-ceiling in every room, leaving only tiny, walk-through spaces.

V.  Those of us who are expats have special reasons for keeping EVERY BOOK.  Anyone who lives outside their home country and who loves books tends to accumulate a library in their own language, which is very hard to come by in the country where they may be living.  Many of us started our libraries in the days before the internet, and when we purchase books, we generally have to purchase them new from overseas as well as pay mailing and postage costs.  This can make the cost of a single book triple the price what someone back home pays.  This makes the books even more valuable, and even harder to give away.

In spite of this, even expats can become overwhelmed with books taking over their house.  Expats also need to sort through and give away books, with some special suggestions given below.


Get several laundry baskets (a convenient maximal size for moving groups of books around the house, or loading into the car), and sort through some books using the following criteria.  I used these, and suggest them to others:

laundry basket

a.) Will I really read this book again, or use it again?  KEEP.

b.) Did I LOVE this book (which I why I kept it)–but do I HONESTLY think I will ever read (or refer to it) again? (Our interests move on and evolve as the years go by. Books we enjoyed at a younger age, often are not so interesting one or two decades later. Sometimes we keep every book by a favorite author, too.)  IF you think YOU WILL NEVER READ IT AGAIN, put it into a give-away basket.

If you are keeping all the books by a favorite author (particularly fiction), pare down by keeping your FAVORITE two or three by that author.  Think about friends who may enjoy these books, to whom you could pass them along as gifts.

c. UNREAD BOOKS, which are NOW UNWANTED: Sometimes we buy books with the intention of reading them, only to find that our interests change over a few years and we now have NO INTEREST in that subject. Sometimes we may have accepted books as gifts or even picked them up at garage sales, or purchased them new. Again, ask yourself, “Do I really think I will read or want to read this book in the future, with my current interests?” If no, put in the give-away basket.

woman sorting books


If UNSURE, put the books in the ONE-YEAR basket, or make a special shelf or even two, and call them the ONE-YEAR shelf.  In my case, these were books I thought I might read some time, but they weren’t my favorites.  They were generally books given to me, or picked up somewhere, but not as first choices. Generally, I find the whole year goes by and I haven’t touched ONE of them, and STILL have no desire to read them, so then they become MUCH easier to put in the give-away basket.


I.)  Call your friends who are readers and tell them you need to give some of your favorite books away, and ask them to come by and see if they would like to have any of them. Many of my friends took favorite fiction, or child care books if their children were young (while mine are grown). This accomplishes two things. First, you know it is going someplace where it will be appreciated and enjoyed. Second, some of those books, if you later really wanted to read it again, you could borrow it back from that friend.

You will feel REALLY GOOD if/when your favorite books are taken by friends because you will feel they are being APPRECIATED and you can make specific recommendations to friends as they look through the books.

II.)  QUICK SOLUTIONS.  If you need to pare back your library, I suggest finding a fairly QUICK solution, or else it becomes an exercise in futility.  These might include a “book garage sale” or calling a used book dealer and seeing if they might be interested in taking some.

Usually, the BEST books will be taken by friends, book sales, or book dealers.  The problem is what to do with the left-over books.  Here are some suggestions:

a.)  Library donations (sometimes libraries receive too many donations).

However, if you are an expat with English-language books, most libraries (or school libraries anywhere) would be happy to have donations of books in English (and in many other languages, if they are in a major world language).

If you are a foreign expat (or immigrant) in the United States, or in an English-speaking country, and have books in a more obscure language, the MAJOR libraries in big cities actually do have sections of foreign-language books and WOULD appreciate books to add to their small sections.  Many times immigrants can’t read English, but appreciate the few books in their own languages in large public libraries (even cook books).

b.)  Many school libraries (especially in poor school districts in America, and especially in countries outside the United States) are DESPERATE for books (check private schools).

c.)  Consider battered women’s shelters, old folks’ homes, even homeless shelters.  (A homeless person has no money for entertainment, and is not clean enough to go into a public library.  But they might very much appreciate a good book to read, if they are a reader.  Even children’s books might be helpful for homeless families.)  If unsure, call the place you are thinking of in advance and ask if they would like to have donations.

d.)  If you can’t find a place, in the United States, there are always Good Will  and Disabled Veterans.  Both of these groups will pick up your items, if you have enough.  In foreign countries, there are often “Used-Item” sellers who will come to your house, look at all items, give you a price (not a lot, but something) and take the items away for you.


You should pare down until you actually have about TEN PERCENT EMPTY SPACE on your book shelves. Why? Because it LEAVES SPACE for you to buy the new books you really want, of course! Now you will not feel guilty buying those books!

bookshelves with some empty space

Is it necessary to say that you’ve read every book in your library? OF COURSE NOT! Who wants to walk into their own library, only to find nothing fresh to read? At any given time, I’ve read about 70% of what’s in my library, and 20-30 percent are books which I haven’t yet read.


Keep in mind, that unless you have shelves with glass fronts, that books need to be dusted two-to-four times a year.  This is another reason for not keeping more books than you can handle.

Books can be kept vertically, or horizontally (useful as a stacked bookend), but in no case should they be allowed to be LEANING on shelves, as the spines will break over time.  If you have someone in to help you dust or care for the books, this is what they REALLY need to understand!

I currently have about 3,000 books in my personal library, and they are organized by subjects, on shelves now split between several rooms. If I want to find a particular book I can usually find it within 1-2 minutes maximum, and that includes the time walking to that room. If your bookshelves are well-organized and clean, they can be used as decorations for the room, as well. My living room and dining room are just two of the rooms filled with book shelves, but I feel proud to display them when my friends come over, or when we have dinner parties or book club meetings in rooms with well-organized book shelves. Of course I have friends who appreciate books, too!


The BEST benefit of paring down your home library to the books that:



is that when you go into your library, IT WILL FEEL TEN TIMES AS AMAZING AS IT EVER FELT BEFORE.

Cultural Conversation Clashes Between Americans, British, and Europeans

British and American Flags

As an American living overseas, I met British people for the first time, outside of America, and became friends with several of them.  As I got to know them better, we eventually had some conversations about Americans and Europeans inadvertently making each other uncomfortable because of different expectations we have from conversations, especially with new people we meet, or people we don’t know well.

I came across a very interesting article on Quora discussing this very issue.  Stephen Franklin brought up the issue of different conversation starters in his answer to, “What American customs are offensive in other countries?”  So many people provided interesting answers that I’ve decided to share in this post some of the answers I found most interesting, for those who don’t use Quora (a great website where people can pose questions on any topic, and people around-the-world provide great answers.)  In a few cases below, one comment may not seem to follow the one above it because I have only pulled out the most interesting comments to include here.

I’d love to have some responses from readers about any personal experiences or opinions on the issues discussed below.

–Lynne Diligent

Steven Franklin’s answer, from Original Quora Post:  (All replies below are selected from comments following Steven’s answer.)

I remember getting in trouble when I met a woman from Holland and asked, “What do you do for a living?”
It’s a common question Americans ask.
Her response:
“Why do you care? Would you speak to me differently if I were a janitor than if I were a corporate president?”
My reply:
“Perhaps we have the same job. Or have friends or family in the same profession. When you meet new people, it’s typical (at least for Americans) to try to find what you have in common.”
When I shared this story at a family get together, a cousin mentioned that she had exactly the same experience. It, too, involved someone from Holland.
Neither of us intended to offend or be nosy. It was ordinary conversation. But obviously, not ordinary conversation in some places.

I especially liked this particular answer, because it explained even more clearly than my British friends about WHY (for an American) they would not like it if an American asked them about their occupation:

Peter Hobday:
In the UK, it is not considered polite to ask personal questions. You discuss other topics of interest – could be, for example, your favorite holiday destination, how you get there and the people you go with, and who you meet there, what the people and food are like there – these and many other information swaps that may be useful or interesting. To talk about you personally is regarded as selfish introspection – something that no-one really is interested in but you yourself. When you get to know someone well, you will swap personal information, but only as close friends — not with someone you have just met. Talking about yourself is regarded as a sign of mental weakness, and asking what someone does for a living when you meet them implies you are trying to establish some kind of useless hierarchy whether you are doing so or not. I agree with the Dutch who are similar to the Brits in many ways.

Darrel Dent:
I find that very interesting because in the US asking someone what they do for a living isn’t considered a particularly “personal” question. It’s like asking what their favorite sports team is. On the other hand, if I don’t know you and you asked me where I vacation or who I vacation with, the most you’re going to get is “the beach” with “my wife” or “some friends” or something of that sort, because that’s part of our private lives. For us, what we do for work isn’t private (although details like salary are). (I live near Washington, DC, so many people in the area have jobs that are “classified,” meaning secret for any non-Americans who don’t use that term. If you casually ask them what they do for a living, some will give you a vague answer about “working for the government” and some will have a “cover” job that’s not actually what they do. If you probe a little deeper, you may get “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you” delivered with a wink and a smile and you know not to ask any more.) Many Americans are big on “networking” and to be good at it means being good at getting other people to talk about themselves. A classic American book of relationship-building is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. A one-sentence summary of what he says would be something like “if you learn the techniques to get people to talk about themselves and you genuinely listen and care, they will walk away from the conversation liking you and they won’t even know why.” Dale Carnegie is kind of a rags-to-riches cultural icon in the US, so this approach to meeting people permeates the society, even for people who haven’t read the book or realize what they’re doing. (Although Carnegie is from the early part of the 20th century, there is still a Dale Carnegie Institute teaching his techniques.) So, when people meet, it’s pretty much expected (especially in business situations, but also at more casual get-togethers) that they will each take a few minutes talking about themselves. So, given what you’ve said, I see a head-on collision between Americans trying to get Europeans to “open up” and the Europeans seeing them as “nosy” on one hand and Americans seeing Europeans as “stand-offish” while Europeans see us as “loudmouthed” on the other.

Kirstin Huiber:
I’m an American… Steven, I don’t have strong values attached to different occupations. Americans ask this question as a shorthand way to account for the other person’s time and interests, not to assign a social ranking. It can even be considered in the larger sense, “What do you do?” in general, not just your paid work. And I personally find “What do you do?” much easier to answer than something like, “What are your passions or interests?” Blech.

Thomas Wier:
I think this is a side-effect of Europeans still living in the shadow of their formerly oppressive class systems and aristocracies. To ask a question like this to an aristocrat would be rude, because aristocrats’ sense of identity came from their ancestry, not their day-to-day activities. To ask a question like this to someone whose family came from the working classes risked revealing their (current or previous) low status in the pecking order. So the question is better left unasked.

A question like this in other words could only be asked when everyone has always pretended to be socioeconomic equals, which is precisely what Americans do.

Dennis Kenny:
I live in Ireland, which is a republic with no former aristocracy and it is generally considered boring to talk about work in a social setting. I don’t know why a feudal system is required to explain it.

One of the distinguishing features of an aristocracy is that very few people are at the top, so unsurprisingly the vast majority of people in a feudal system would have a trade to talk about.

Perhaps the US focus on the workplace is more to do with residual puritan religious influences.

Eric Vicini:

There’s another thing with people who aren’t Americans. Sometimes, they don’t understand that you’re only trying to make conversation. “What do you do for a living” is not a question, it’s a conversation opener. Same as “where’re you from?”, or “how ’bout them Saints?”

Steven Franklin:
Absolutely. But this woman told me that asking her profession was the equivalent of asking how much money she had in the bank.  I still remember my college years when we asked each other, “What’s your major?”

Edward Anderson:  
On my first day at one job, I sat across from my HR rep, who wrote a figure on a post-it and handed it to me. “This is your negotiated salary. We consider this to be a confidential matter between you and the company, and ask that you not discuss your pay with any of your co-workers.”

I said, “Don’t worry, ma’am, I’m just as ashamed of that low figure as you ought to be.”

Chris Dinant:
I’m Dutch. I understand that some of your statements are just conversation starters, but I have no idea how to respond to them. You have to answer something, right?

Mikaela Sifuentes:
This is so interesting because as an American I never thought of them as difficult to answer. For example, to answer the questions Eric brought up, I might say, “I work in a biomedical lab studying stroke.” or “I originally grew up in Dallas, TX. Are you from around here?” or “I’m not really much of a football fan. Are you excited about the beginning of the season?” Each one of the answers provides another opening for the other person to respond with a question or answer, and thus keep the conversation going.

How does the opening of a conversation go in the Netherlands?

John Gould:
Here in the Netherlands, the general neutral topics of the weather, football and such would be used. Any non-personal small talk is fine. To ask someone things like their occupation, and where they live or where they are from is more personal, and should be used as an opening.

If and when the other person responds in a way that encourages more communication, we can go further and see where the conversation leads to.

Ilka Pritchard Pelczarski:
I’m half German and had the opportunity to live in Germany for an extended period of time. I learned that Europeans tend to answer questions more thoughtfully and in greater depth. For example, in America we ask our coworkers “how are you?” in a friendly, upbeat tone while passing them in the hallway; are we actually expecting a response? And when we’re asked the question, do we feel compelled to go into it any further? Not usually. In Germany I learned that you had better be prepared to invest some time to listen to how someone is ‘actually’ doing when you pose the question, because not only will they get into it with you, they will want to hear your story as well.
Going back to the original intent of our asking about what someone does for a living, as many have commented, for Americans it is generally a conversation starter. And as with the question “how are you” our friends from other countries take it to the next level out of the gates not realizing the superficial nature of it from the American perspective. (Superficial not meant in a negative context).
The bigger lesson here is accepting that we are all responsible for putting forth the effort in understanding each other’s cultures. Maybe we need to start each conversation with, “what is an important thing you think that I as [insert your nationality here] should know about your culture/heritage/background?”

Darrel Dent:
Most of the people who would judge your worthiness to engage in conversation based on your occupation probably aren’t worth talking to anyway, since they’re only interested in people who can do something for them.

Vishnu Subramanian:
It might’ve even had something to with the tone of your voice or even just the multiple ways in which you can ask the same question. Northern Europeans in general aren’t as inquisitive or as extroverted as people from other countries, because of the importance their culture places on privacy.

Nicola Caria:
The point is that Europeans use different topics to get the conversation started. Make sure that “what do you do for living” is not your first question, otherwise it is widely accepted also in Europe a job-related discussion.
In the beginning, I found quite rude myself getting such a question from American girls, which I considered to be “gold diggers” .  Now that I got accustomed, I could not care less.

Nicola Caria:
Well, I can tell you that in Italy food, wine and soccer are great conversation topics.
Also, you can easily get Italians attention asking of “who is the prime minister” or directly making comments on him (it is Matteo Renzi right now). Be careful though, you may have in front of you a strong supporter/detractor.
When I lived in Belgium and Switzerland, people loved to talk about tradition in your own country.
Try to bring up something cool about the region you come from. Hope it helps!

Jon Painter:
Ha ha, food is an inherently dangerous conversation in the US with women you don’t know well!

Kathleen Fasanella:
It’s not just the Netherlands; it’s one of the things that many nationalities put up with when dealing with people from the US -it inspires eye rolls. I never ask when traveling abroad. Since others know I’m a US citizen, they’re expecting me to ask so when I don’t, it can be somewhat awkward until they figure out I’m not going to and they can relax.

Case in point, in the late 80’s, I was traveling with my then husband and small child, from Buenos Aires, to the port serving Florianopolis, Brazil; it’s a two day bus ride. Across the aisle was a nice couple who we spoke with non stop for the duration. Departing the ferry, we went our respective ways.

Two days later, my son became frightfully sick. Since we were staying in a condo one street from the beach, I went there to see if someone could tell me where to find a doctor. As luck would have it, I found the couple we’d been talking to for two days on the bus. When I asked the young man if he knew where I could find a doctor, he told me that he was a pediatrician. He dropped everything and came over to the condo to treat my son. For nothing of course. Somehow, I don’t think the situation would have played out as it did if I’d asked the guy what he did for a living.

Darrel Dent:
Equally difficult is the question of how to answer any of the many variations of “who are you.” If it’s considered impolite to ask someone else about their job, it’s probably just as bad to spout off about your own. But, as Americans, who we are is so entwined with what we do that most of us, when asked to describe ourselves will start off with our occupations. Also, here the topic of work is considered “safe,” but people can be more guarded about their personal lives and their opinions. So, most Americans struggle when you ask them to describe themselves without talking about their job. It’s actually something that requires thought and practice.

Gloria Hines:
I think one of the most common errors are the fact that to every country we visit we expect them to speak English without even trying to learn their language. While living in Frankfurt Germany I went to a pet store to purchase food for my dog. The first thing I said to the salesperson was do you speak English. She didn’t respond, so I struggled through trying to make her understand. She than spoke to me in English. As I walked home I realized she was teaching me a very important lesson and that I had no right to expect her to know English because she was near military housing. So I taught myself what I called “shopping German”. They were much more receptive in their response to me. Lesson learned.

Steven Franklin:
You make a great point. I remember how in many countries signs at tourist attractions such as museums would be in multiple languages. And upon my return to the US, my noticing that we didn’t do the same for our foreign guests.

Juan Jorge:
That is probably because of the huge amount of languages and relatively small size of each country in Europe. You can rather easily go through many different countries with different languages in a few days so multiple languages on signs makes a lot of sense. In the US the primary language is English and traveling for a day might not even get you out of a state in some places and they will still talk English when you do end up in a new state. Should signs have multiple languages? Maybe, but which ones? Who is willing to make a sign that has that many languages, who will get to pick the ones on there and who will NOT be upset if their language is not added?

Amos Shapir:
In France, especially Paris, I’d always get better service when trying to communicate in broken French, than in good English; even if they do understand English (most do nowadays) they’d often pretend not to.

Darrel Dent:
I’m an American, but very much a Francophile and (moderately) fluent in French. The French are very proud of their language and you will score major points if you can speak it, even badly. Often, if you try to speak French but are struggling, they will switch to English, but, as you said, you’ll get better service for having made the effort.

Jim Noblett: 
Interesting.  Maybe it’s similar to someone here asking ‘How much money do you make?’ Or ‘What’s your address?’

Jim Torrance:
I’m an American (U.S.) and I get really irritated when people ask what I do for a living as a matter of small talk. I hate my job and don’t want to be defined by it, especially when someone is getting to know me.

Marcel Geenen:
I think one aspect hasn’t been mentioned here, and this is that to Americans work is much more important then to Dutch people.
To a Dutch person, Americans seem to live to work, while the Dutch work to live.
To be more clear, a Dutch person will go to work 9-5, then go home. Overtime is rare and when it happens a lot in a company, people will complain and refuse to do it.
The Netherlands has more part time workers than any other country.  And many people will gladly work a few days less per year even on a full time job.
So in general, work is a much less important part of a person’s life then it is in the US, so talking about this as a conversation starter is strange, because you start by talking about something unimportant and most likely something completely unrelated to the situation you are in.
If you need a conversation start, pick a subject related to your actual circumstances at the time.

Steven Franklin:
So, two people who meet for the first time who are both attorneys or musicians or artists or teachers would remain unaware of that fact in the hours that they spend talking to one another?

Jonathan Hole:
Probably not. Though it’s “inappropriate” to directly ask for other’s profession, I don’t think it’s considered rude to say something which implies your own profession (as in “You know the other day in court something similar happened…”), even if that is a “high status” profession. But in general though, bragging is sort of frowned upon in Norway, and if you devote MUCH time to tell the other person of your (high status) profession that would likely be considered inappropriate, yes.

Steven Franklin:
Here the thing. This is a cultural norm. What is appropriate in one culture (asking a business associate about his family) would be considered extraordinarily rude in another.

What about a guest who leaves food on the dinner plate? In some cultures, it’s a complement indicating, “Thank you; you have fed me enough and now I am full.” but in other cultures, it may imply that the food was unacceptable.

I’m told that in some countries, young children refer to elderly adults they encounter as, “Uncle or Aunt.” That really wouldn’t go over very well in the US.

People should have a level of sophistication to understand that a foreigner’s comment may not be offense where he came from and take it accordingly. A cultural mistake.  Even a dog knows the difference between someone who kicked him and someone who tripped over him.

Dave Borland:
Why do I care? Because people spend more of their waking hours on their work than on anything else. Why should that part of their life be off-limits to conversation? Why are you so evasive?

James Arthur:
She was correct. Your question was attempting to establish income and social status. If she had been a janitor, you would have viewed her in those terms. Consider how often health care is mentioned in conversation with strangers. Not health, just the number and quality of the professionals involved. For an American, healthcare is expensive, for Europeans, it is generally free and only relevant when we are sick. It is far safer to use neutral topics such as hobbies or media. The British obsession with the weather is exactly this…

Daniel Fenn:
This seems like a bit of an unwarranted assumption. Just because that’s how the action strikes you does not mean that’s how it was intended.

Darrel Dent:
That may or may not be a valid assumption with Europeans, but it definitely isn’t with Americans. That’s not to say it’s NEVER true, but it is equally, if not more, likely to simply be an innocent question akin to “tell me something about yourself.” Because many (if not most) Americans’ self-identity is closely intertwined with their jobs, if you say to an American “tell me about yourself,” more than half will start off with what they do for a living. That may be somewhat less true for less “prestigious” jobs, but it depends on the person and the job (for instance, in the US, teaching is not a particularly prestigious job, but I’ve know many teachers and, as a rule, they are passionate and if you meet one and ask them to tell you about themselves, probably eight out of ten will start off by telling you they’re a teacher). So, asking what someone else does isn’t a loaded question intended to establish relative social rank, it’s merely a means of getting a better understanding of who that person IS. If I casually ask what you do for a living, I don’t need (or usually want) to know that you are a partner at Dewey, Cheatham and Howe specializing in personal injury litigation. “I’m a lawyer” is just fine. And if you’re a garbage-collector, “I work for the Department of Sanitation” or even “I work for the city/state government” is okay. As someone pointed out in another response, Europeans tend to give more thoughtful answers to such questions than Americans. For Americans, the appropriate response to a casual “How are you?” is “Fine, thanks” even if you just got out of the hospital following triple bypass surgery. (If you really want to know, you usually have to ask again, something like “No, really, how are you?”). So, the expected response to a casual “What do you do for a living” would be equally casual. The question is not intended to define your place in the social order.

Craig Morris:
I’m from the UK and I often ask people what their occupation is soon after meeting them. Not always, but often. I’ve never noticed anyone take offence at this. I’ve also had the same question asked of me numerous times and never taken offence.
Work is not my favourite topic of conversation whether talking with people that I know well or with people I hardly know at all, but I will talk about it if people ask, and especially if the asker is showing a genuine interest.
When meeting somebody for the first time, initial topics of conversation are limited and the goal is to ask questions that lead to common ground and a conversation that begins to flow.
For some people there could be an element of attempting to ascertain whether or not this person is worthy of their time. It may not be right to make a judgement based on an occupation, but a person’s occupation usually has some correlation with how that person would like to be perceived by the wider world, just as their hobbies, where they live, and their political and religious leanings also do.
Having said that, I can’t imagine ever feeling it correct for my opening gambit to be “So, who did you vote for at the last election?”, or “So, what religion are you?”

Steven Franklin:
Sorry to disagree. If, for example, I found out that the person I was speaking to was also a teacher, I’d be delighted to compare her classroom experiences with mine. If that person were an attorney, I’d love to know whether their judicial system uses juries or judges to reach verdicts. First Europeans call Americans “ignorant” about the world outside the US borders. And then when Americans seek to learn, we’re called “sad-assed materialists.”

So, please, let’s have some comments from readers!

Intercultural Business Communication Problems Are Highlighted in International Schools

Intercultural business meeting

I taught for many years in international schools and was quite surprised by the intercultural problems I encountered.  Since we were all speaking English, I did not even realize, during the first few years, that the problems I encountered were actually intercultural problems.  Eventually, I realized that the cultures of the Native-English-speaking world are all very different, particularly in terms of work styles, societal attitudes, and interpersonal exchanges.

A few examples of typical communication problems in international schools might be any of the following.  Staff meetings occur where various nationalities speak up, or don’t speak up in meetings, and many are judging that others are not speaking or behaving appropriately.  During working time, teachers and staff members of some nationalities work hard and are serious, while other nationalities seem to be taking time out of their working schedule for visiting and gossiping, and clearly not doing their work, or being punctual.  Some nationalities try to be helpful to others, while other nationalities habitually try to prevent others from obtaining information, make obstructive problems, and play power games.

Some nationalities feel that the same rules apply to everyone, while other nationalities feel entitled to “go around the rules” and be excused from them, because of “who they know.”  Meetings between parents of different nationalities sometimes become quite heated because some nationalities feel that only the highest “class” of parents has the right to speak up and/or make policy decisions (while others are expected to sit quietly, listening in acceptance); on the other hand, parents from other cultures feel anyone who raises their hand should be allowed to speak.

Even classwork and homework can be contentious.  Some nationalities feel children should have no homework at all in elementary school, while others feel they should be having four or five hours of homework a day in elementary school.  Sometimes even the facts being taught are contentious.  I was once brought to the principal’s office to explain why I was teaching my students that there were seven continents!  (This is when I discovered that the French-speaking world views the world as having five continents–North and South America are taught as the one continent of “America,” and Europe and Asia are taught as the one continent of “Eurasia.”)

A typical English-language American International School (outside of the United States) can easily have teachers and administrators from at least ten different countries, and from several different cultures, teaching together in school at any one time.  In most of these schools, teachers frequently change schools every one or two years, meaning that the communication problems continue.

Native English speakers usually account for about fifty percent of the staff, and can come from numerous English-speaking countries, such as England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, India, Singapore, or the Philippines, among others.  Typically, about forty percent of other teachers and staff come mainly from the host country; they tend to be people with academic English qualifications. About ten percent of teachers are from other nationalities and cultures.

Problems occur most often on an organizational level because of three factors:  1.)  Differing assumptions about work, organizations, and personal life and goals; 2.) Different expectations about how work and meetings are conducted; 3.) Different methods for resolving conflict; and 3.) Different cultural factors regarding how others are treated in different societies.

Problems also occur on  a personal level:  1.)  Between supervisors and subordinates, who have different assumptions about how work should be done, and how much work is expected; 2.)  Societal attitudes which are coloring interpersonal interactions, without the other party being aware of the reasons behind the other person’s unexplainable behavior; and 3.)  Cultural factors, particularly when one party comes from a direct culture, while the other party comes from an indirect, or passive-aggressive culture.

Whenever people of several cultures are brought together and asked to work together on projects, or in meetings, really surprising and unexpected conflicts are the norm.  These problems no doubt occur in nearly every business with employees from a variety of countries; but the examples presented by many international schools provide us with a perfect series of examples to look at.

International schools provide a mixture of cultures in a fishbowl, where parents, teachers, administrators, and other staff, are all working under different sets of rules without even being aware of it.  People often think they are communicating when they speak the same language; but in fact, they are often more like two ships passing in the night.

Future posts will deal more specifically both with problems on the organizational level, and with problems on the interpersonal level.

–Lynne Diligent